Procrastinite

Yesterday I had dinner with my siblings.  It was lovely.  There was enjoyable food, a hard-core egg hunt, and a few thrilling rounds of Uno.  And, of course, lively (well, sort of) conversation.  One such conversation consisted of Nor telling the tale of getting ready for church earlier that Easter morn.  But, first, background information.

When I was a young child, I was well acquainted with the Standin’ Tall tapes.  For those of you unaware of what these are, they are character-promoting, cheesy, musical kid-oriented books-on-tape.  I could read along and color the book’s pictures while listening to lessons on honesty, cleanliness, happiness, etc.  The only things that I really remember specifically about them, however is 1.) The book/tape on happiness is about a girl who has a magic box which produces any toy she wants, and a dress that can look like anything.  I think the moral is that happiness doesn’t come from things.  I remember wishing I had her box.  2.) The book/tape on honesty involves a boy playing baseball who hits the ball through a grouchy neighbor’s window.  I can still hear in my mind’s ear (is that a legit phrase…I know that people say “mind’s eye”): “throw the ball and catch the ball and [CRASH!]…Who broke my window?”  Knowing that phrase won me infinite cool points with my zone leaders at a shared dinner appointment while on my mission.  3.) There is one on dependability and it involves some hero-like figure called ‘Captain Dependable’.  Okay, this is sufficient background information to proceed.

Well, Nor was telling me of how there was some tension in her apartment.  All the girls were in a shared area getting themselves beautified for church, but silence pervaded the space.  So, Nor asked if it was okay if she put something on in the CD player.  And what she put on was the Self-Esteem Standin’ Tall tape.  Soon all the girls were captivated by the painfully cheesy tale of Mark and the parrot, who he met at the zoo during a field trip, searching through the jungle for Mark’s mystery “special friend” and encountering a hippo (whom he taught that you don’t have to be beautiful to be liked), a school of fish (whom he taught that it was okay and even good to be different that everyone else) and some monkeys (whom he taught that it was okay to make mistakes).   And ultimately, he learned that he was his own “special friend”.  Well, that tender tale broke the ice and dissipated the awkward from their apartment, and I believe the group all did the recommended exercise at the end of the episode and wrote down things that, if a new kid were to move to their class and get to know them, that kid would like about them.  So tender.

Anyway, after Nor reminded of these great childhood memories on tape, and when I realized that I was all alone in my apartment earlier this evening, I busted mine out and listened first to Self-Esteem and then listened to Dependability.  Oh my goodness!  Captain Dependable, with his irritating theme song, is amazing.  Well, at least he was, until the evil Dr. Un exposed him to procrastinite (similar in concept to kryptonite), which causes people to procrastinate important things until a never-realized later.  Luckily, the kids are eventually able to jet pack it to where Captain Dependable had hidden his stash of some sort of biscuits that yield motivation and initiative like Popeye’s spinach yields strength.  Then the Cap’n expels Dr. Un and saves the day.

Anyway, moral of the story is: I think that Dr. Un has hidden some procrastinate somewhere in my apartment and throughout BYU campus.