An old note

I was cleaning out my room the other day (well, technically I was looking for something and it required going through disorganized drawers) and found a note I received from a friend about a year ago. Now, I know that this person intended everything in this note to come across as a compliment, but between a questionable term of endearment and omitting the word "not" at one point...well, its just rather special. So I'm posting it on my blog so that I feel justified in throwing it away but can still look back on it and laugh.

Dear Allison,

I remember one time I called you an escaped circus performer. I really did mean it with all the sincerity I could muster because you are so talented. I don't think there is anything you could do if your mind were fixated on it. Thanks for being such a positive influence in my life and for helping me to see that there are people, all over the world, that are worthy of being cared for.

Your friend,

(signature)

3 Nephi 9

So during my scripture study a night or two ago, I studied the chapters preceding 3 Nephi 11. So good. I never thought I could get so much insight out of so much destruction. Chapter 8 gives an account of the tempests, earthquakes, fires, etc in the New World: the sign of Christ's death in the Old World. Then it tells of the three days of darkness, representative of the time Christ's body was in the tomb preceding the resurrection. In chapter 9 we read of a voice that was heard by all of the survivors of the calamities. One verse especially stood out to me, verse 13: "O all ye that are spared because ye were more righteous than they, will ye not now return unto me, and repent of our sins, and be converted, that I may heal you?"

The following verses are beautiful and offer hope and understanding. I especially love verse 18 in which the voice, who in verse 15 was identified as that of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, identifies himself as "the light". That word surely stuck out to the listeners who were still engulfed in a darkness that was formerly described as being a tangible vapor.

But I get ahead of myself; back to verse 13. When I read these verse this time, I read them differently than ever before. I read them hearing a pained pleading in the Savior's invitation. I thought about it contextually and realized that it was only a few days before that He had suffered in the garden and on the cross, not only for those to whom he was now speaking, but also for those that they were mourning.

I realized that surely the Savior was mourning their losses as well. He wasn't casually notifying the survivors of an option to come to Him. He was pleading that they would chose to come. The "arm of mercy" that was extended had hands fresh with nailprints attached. Tonight in Institute I noticed in a Conference quote that a call to repentance is "a loving appeal", and it immediately reminded me of these verses. Christ loved these people enough to die for them. He was personally invested in their happiness. He wanted them to repent. And he invited them to do so. The love and pain in that invitation was striking to me.

The context and timing brought the invitation to repentance to the Nephites and Lamanites at that time to life. And realizing that helps me to know that surely the Savior extends His arm of mercy, and his invitation to repent and come unto him, is just as full of love and want for me and everyone. Understanding a little bit better of His love helps me turn my heart more fully toward Him. I love the scriptures and how they help me come to know Christ.

My Sister Missionary Sisters

Early this morning, Kris (aka Sister Ellsworth) left the MTC and took off to Florida. Not-quite-as-early tomorrow morning, Nor (aka Hermana Ellsworth) will will leave home and take off for the MTC. I am so excited for my missionary sisters. I think of them often. I'm so excited for the experiences they will have, the lessons they will learn, the growth they will experience, and the lives they will touch. While I was in the temple earlier this evening, I was thinking back to when I was in the Mesa Temple with Nor in August subjecting her to my overly-energetic scriptural insights, and back in the Portland Temple with Kris and Nor the weekend Jeff and Sherry were married.

And then I realized a neat little tender mercy. (This isn't the one for the book this year, Mom. But don't worry, I have one in mind.) I realized that I was blessed to be with both of my little sisters when they had their mission calls opened. I worded it "when they had their mission calls opened" rather than "when they opened their mission calls" because neither of them were in the same state as their call when it was opened. For Kris, she was in Utah and her call was in Arizona. Rach opened it and read it. I was right there with Kris, cheering her on while she listened via my cell phone. For Nor, she was in Oregon and her call was in Arizona. Stacy opened it and read it. I was sitting right beside Nori in the van driving back to Tigard from riverrafting the Deschutes.

I felt slightly sad when I wasn't able to be there when Kris when through the temple for the first time, or when Nor gave her farewell talk, or when either were set apart. But now I'm realizing how blessed I was and am. I was there with them when they learned of their calls. I was/am able to see both of them the day they report/ed to the MTC. And I'm just thrilled that they are able to have this experience. And I'm excited to write/continue writing to them. So yeah. I love my sisters. All of them, but tonight, my sister missionary sisters especially.

Free time

This week I have been leaving school at around 10pm. And I kinda like it. Today, I finished classes at 11am, had a cohort meeting with the program director, distributed some flyers for free marital check-ups, did some research, met with my advisor and then went to the coding lab. At 5:44 I decided that I didn't want to code any more that day. But then I realized something...I didn't know what to do with myself. I have some friends coming over for dinner and stuff at 7:30, but the idea of over an hour and a half of free time was daunting. I ultimately decided to face my fear of free time and thus far have walked to my car, driven home, ordered two books online, and started writing this blog. I still have another hour. I guess I could get further ahead on homework. Or do my scripture study early. Or look up educational lectures online. Or clean my room. Or think up a more clever Halloween costume than what I currently have in mind. Or iron and hem something. Maybe I should figure out how decorate my room. That has been on the to-do list for over 6 months now. The only thing I have on the wall is a vegetable slicer...and I'll probably take that down soon. I only have it hanging there to remind myself to return it. Anyway, if anyone has good suggestions on how to use free time, I need guidance.

Friday night

So it's a Friday night. And I'm being a bum. Well, let's be honest, I don't know enough about bums to be able to say that I'm being one. In all honesty, I'd expect that I've very unlike a bum right now. I'm sitting back in my spacious living room, typing on my laptop having just made and eaten some casserole and completed an online exam. I'm about to resume reading a 400 page book for one of my graduate classes. And I'm wearing great new socks that I purchased from the Gap on Wednesday. They are grey with colored polka dots. I also bought a pair of argyle patterned socks. They are beautiful. I wore them yesterday. So what I meant to imply when I said that I was being a bum, is that I'm inside doing homework instead of going out and playing. Anyway, back to that 400 page book. I promised myself I could read more of it after I finished my exam. I love loving what I'm learning.

November

I just found out that I won't have any classes the week of Thanksgiving. Which means that from 11am on November 19th until 4pm on November 30th I don't have any classes. Sweet. I'm feeling thankful already.

Castes and callings

So yesterday I was thinking about Hinduism. Now, I'm not sure if I understand this correctly, but based on some readings I did while in India, as I understand it, there is equal honor in fulfilling your ascribed duty, be you of a high or low caste. Considering the rebirth cycle and the idea that one in a higher caste likely lived better previous lives to attained that state, makes me question my understanding of the concept, but I'm going to go with it all the same. So as I understand it, a Brahmin who is true to his duty by fulfilling priestly duties reaps equal honor as a Shudra who is true in his duty as a humble laborer. It doesn't matter the prestige of one's position or what is required of them, the honor comes in fulfilling their duty, whatever that might be.

As I was pondering this last night, it made me think of church callings. I think that often there is a perceived hierarchy of church callings, in which some are seen as more prestigious or high-ranking, while others may seem menial, unimportant or unnecessary. It shouldn't feel that way though. Whether a calling seems to be "high caste" or "low caste", it is equally honorable and acceptable as long as a person magnifies their calling. There shouldn't been a hierarchy. Everyone has opportunities to serve and to build up Zion. Everyone is in a position to sustain others and help them to succeed. And everyone can be blessed in doing their part.

Oh, and yesterday was Diwali. Good ol' Diwali. A year ago for Diwali I took the GRE. Two years ago for Diwali I was in India. Good times.