Color-blind Chameleon

As I was walking home from campus this evening, I spied some girls I assumed to be in my ward. It was but an assumption since I am still not able to recognize anyone in my ward by sight with the exception of my three roommates. Plus it was dark and I'm not all that familiar with ward boundaries. Anyway, luckily, my assumption proved accurate. I decided to wave, go up and introduce myself to said girls. And I did so. It was a good social interaction. Except that I noticed that I sort of modified my tone and personality to what I figured would mesh with what I perceived of their tones and personalities. As I walked away, it occurred to me that I wasn't fully being myself. I wasn't being someone else, but I was selective about what parts of myself were emerged and submerged. And I realized that in my attempt to adapt to hastily assumed surroundings, that I was being a bit of a social chameleon. Then I realized that I probably wasn't adapting in a way that was consistent with either myself or those other girls. And then I decided that I was being a color-blind chameleon.

And then I decided that the term "color-blind chameleon" is awesome. And now I want to develop a theory about it, prove it in my therapy and someday write a book about it just because it seems like a shnazzy title. But even beyond being an awesome title, I think the concept has a lot of merit in its application to interpersonal interaction. I think it is quite typical to try to read others' expectations and adapt accordingly in hopes of being accepted and approved of. But, in so doing, the social chameleons will either reveal their color-blindness and be alienated by their fraud, or else be so good at blending in that they lose their identity, the part of themselves they they really want to have accepted and validated. I would imagine that the ideal is not to be a chameleon at all, but to be one's self. Because if you put two color-blind chameleons together, I would imagine it would be difficult to attain a secure attachment since neither knows either's true self enough to truly accept it or to feel accepted.

Also, my book will have awesome illustrations.